So, I had to take a little break from the blood, guts, and sheer terror of the zombie apocalypse. But, I’m back with a renewed love of the living undead, to give Kim Paffenroth props for being such a wonderful fan of all things zombie.

I was introduced to the wonderful mind of Dr. Paffenroth when I read his first book, The Gospel of the Living Dead: George Romero’s Visions of Hell on Earth. Kim compares the Romero films to the circles of Dante’s inferno. It is fascinating reading. Zombies aren’t just blood and guts; they are a topic for philosophy and religion. Wouldn’t you just love to take a college course from him? I believe he teaches at Iona College, so go find him and beg him to give you an independent study course in zombies!

But then, scholar that Dr. Paffenroth was, he couldn’t stop there. He had to envision his own post-apocalyptic world of zombies so he wrote a novel, Dying to Live. I have to admit, I wasn’t overjoyed with this one. While there were some new ideas (and the goriest zombie birth scene ever–where the mother becomes a zombie and attempts to tear herself open to eat her living baby), it fit fairly neatly into the established zombie plot. I wasn’t wowed, but I did enjoy it.

I didn’t rush out to read the sequel, I took my time, but eventually I got around to it, and I’m so glad I did. I just finished Dying to Live: Life Sentence. I loved this one because I love zombies and half of the book was written from the perspective of a zombie. This zombie, Truman, suddenly becomes aware again, can’t really remember his past life, but is cognizant. And guess who that zombie was in his former life…. a professor of Philosophy (okay technically Dr. Paffenroth is a professor of Religious Studies.. but whatever)… sound familiar?

So Kim Paffenroth is my new best zombie friend. He went through the trouble of writing two novels just to turn himself into a zombie. Now that is devotion!

One more thing. If you check out The Gospel of the Living Dead, you can see him on the cover in full zombie make-up. Who says academics are boring?

I was lucky enough to catch Max Brooks at Indiana University on his book tour last fall. I gave him an IU sock zombie and now have an autographed copy of World War Z.

So, I decided to make a Max sock zombie. But to be fair to Max, you should know, he did not make any of the blunders, Max the sock zombie made. He didn’t tell us about his zombie survival hideout, he didn’t recommend a Hummer and there was no bragging at all. Max was actually very helpful, so if you need to start getting organized on your zombie plan, I highly recommend attending one of his lectures.

As for World War Z…. it is the BEST zombie novel I’ve read (although I have to admit, I haven’t read too many zombie novels—mostly I stick to the movie guides). My husband even read and enjoyed it (and he isn’t nearly the zombie lover that I am). It was very creative…. And very scary…..

I have to admit it… I’m a sucker for a zombie kid. There is something about feral flesh eating children that makes me say “Aawwwww.” I guess it’s my maternal instincts.

Since I love zombie kids, it will come as no surprise that I really enjoyed Wicked Little Things. These are some seriously cute little zombiekins. Not only are they little zombies, they are also from the early 1800’s so they look like little newsies with black undead eyes, bloody mouths, and cute little caps. Think Undead Oliver. How can anyone resist them?

These sweeties aren’t really true zombies. They do eat flesh, and they are corporeal, but they are really sort of zombie-ghost hybrids. They act with intention, can use tools, and make friends (aaawww, they are like Casper). They were wronged in life and they have come back to revenge themselves. In the meantime, they are hungry, so they don’t discriminate.

I’m giving this one a thumbs up, but I can’t really be trusted. As Barbara Kingsolver said. “The strength of motherhood is greater than natural laws.” I love those little zombie children… coo chi coo chi coooooo…. Aaaaaaahhhhh!

Venus and Serena Williams recently won their eighth doubles Grand Slam title at the Australian Open.

Much luckier than this Venus….. (who coincidentally is also a tennis player)

Venus loved the game of tennis. On a hot Saturday afternoon, she and her trainer were working on her net game. But her trainer was having some trouble. She hit an overhead smash and he went down. Thinking it was heat stroke, she ran to his aid. It was too late, he was already undead. Now, instead of working on her serve, she serves up her opponents for meals. Brraaaaiiins, Set, Match….

Wow! This movie was seriously bad! It was so bad that halfway through the movie, my husband said, “At this point they should have just started over.”

The movie revolves around a group of 80’s guys that really want to get laid at the Spring Dance. To achieve this goal, they need some weed to get the girls stoned. Sadly, their small town is completely dry and they finally have to resort to the lowest of the town drug dealers, Mussolini.

But when they finally get their weed, and smoke it in the high school bathroom, they only get a headache, and decide that they have to get their money back.

Where are the zombies you might ask at this point. Not in the movie yet. In fact this plot goes on for over half of the movie. I suppose you could call it character development. We also get to see one of the guys, Dan, fall in love with his high school sweetheart and ask her to the dance. Still no zombies.

Finally, Mussolini and the boys get in a fight; they accidentally kill him, and dump his body in a river, which they then hear is radioactive on the news.

And so the first zombie is born and begins to take out the kids who killed him.

There are only two zombies in the movie and both have emotions and intelligence and remember their former lives. They don’t shuffle and they aren’t hungry for human flesh. Mussolini does eat a tongue, but it seems more for effect than hunger. They do have superhuman strength though.

The end comes down to a battle between zombie Mussolini and zombie Dan, the teenage zombie. Poor Dan has been living in the basement of the local hangout and trying to convince his girlfriend to love him even though he is green, undead, and rotting. Luckily, during the final battle, she is killed by Mussolini, so she and Dan can be together forever. How romantic.

I realize this review contains some spoilers. That’s so you don’t have to see it! If you want to see a good 80’s cult zombie movie…… skip this one and head straight for Return of the Living Dead.

Sock Zombies endorsed Obama from the beginning. They always thought he had more brains than McCain. Today is a great day for the undead.

My husband surprised me by coming back from the movie store with a double feature zombie DVD last night. Isn’t he wonderful! We searched through our trusty Zombie Movie Guide to figure out which movie to watch first, and decided on Zombie Flesh Eater, also known as Ghost Ships of the Blind Dead, Horror of the Zombies, or by its original title El Buque maldito.

El Buque maldito is the third of the Blind Dead series, written and produced by Spanish director Amando de Ossorio. The movies focus on the Knights Templar, an order that took to devil worship, and were punished by the church. They are blind because birds pecked out their eyes while they hung at the gallows.

Since they were killed for their worship of Satan, the least he could do was reanimate them every now and then and let them out to kill, and to top off his kindness, he almost always provides sexy girls in bikinis. What a great guy.

In this installment of the Blind Dead, two bikini clad models end up lost at sea on a tiny boat as part of a publicity stunt. When they see a 16th century galleon surrounded by ominous fog, they decide to investigate. But first they complain about the heat and take off their cover-ups. Oh, and they also decide to go one at a time. Meanwhile the rescue team, which includes a former scientist who has turned to religion and believes that the ghostly galleon exists in another dimension, comes upon their empty boat.

Needless to say, they are all killed by the Blind Dead. The actual killing is done off-screen, so most of the movie consists of the very very slow dragging of victims to their death, while they scream , cry, and bleed.

The Blind Dead are good looking zombies, essentially flesh dripping skeletons, wearing their Templar gear and hoods. The best part of the movie is the final scene when the Blind Dead escape their galleon and rise slowly out of the ocean. Almost gave me the creeps. Take that Captain Jack!

Just recieved an email from a Christmas customer. She bought two sock zombies for her nieces and was happy to report that the girls loved them. They both also got American Girl dolls, and apparently the sock zombies are frequently attacking them. Go Sock Zombies! I can’t wait to see Undead Molly!

Today is the last day of 2008, and since 2008 marked the 40th anniversary of Night of the Living Dead, it is only appropriate to give it a little praise. Sock Zombies LOVE Night of the Living Dead. Here is their tribute.

This summer I went to the Night of the Living Dead 40th Anniversary Tour in Chicago, where I met George Romero, was almost eaten by William Hinzeman (the first zombie in the graveyard), and spoke to both Judith O’Dea (Barbara) and Kyra Schon (Karen—the super scary little zombie girl). I gave George a sock zombie. He wiggled it around, smiled, and thanked me. Later I went to his talk, and he emphasized several times that his movies WERE NOT ABOUT ZOMBIES! Of course, he is right. He is George Romero.

Romero’s movies are about how we, as humans, respond in the face of a threat from “the other.” George explained that the threat could be any kind of danger, including a natural disaster, war, an epidemic, or terrorism.

Night of the Living Dead was genre-defining and groundbreaking in its sheer horror. What could be the most shocking threat to humanity? The dead coming back to life and trying to kill the living by eating them. Not only is it seriously disturbing (cannibalism is a widespread human taboo), but it can potentially come from someone you love. You could spend thirty years with your husband, know him like the back of your hand, and share a deep love. Doesn’t matter, if he becomes a zombie, he will eat you.

And how can humans respond? To survive in a world of zombies, you have to be willing to kill the very people you love the most. Facing such a threat brings out the worst in humanity. The characters in Romero movies exemplify our human flaws, making the movies powerful critiques of society. You find military men who become drunk on power, scientists who lose their morals in the search for an answer, and profiteers who take advantage of human tragedy to make money. When these people go down, we cheer for the zombies who take them out. Because the villains of these movies are always the humans, and the zombies are really just human victims of the plague, zombies actually become the heroes. So, this is where I believe George is wrong (did I actually say that?)….. his movies ARE ABOUT ZOMBIES.

All scary stories are supposed to teach us moral lessons, and in this case, the policing is done by the undead. Think of zombies as Jiminy Cricket… our undead conscience. They can’t help their ravenous hunger for human flesh. It’s not their fault we unleashed the epidemic. They are just hungry.

Made these as a wedding present.

Tim had been to bachelor parties before, but his was turning out to be the wildest. Maybe his best man was a cheap skate, but the stripper he had hired looked downright haggard. She kept groaning, sweated profusely, and looked pale and wan. Several times, she almost fell down during her routine and when she finally landed on his lap, she had the audacity to start kissing his neck. When he tried to push her away, she bit him and he passed out. He woke up the next morning with the worst hangover he had ever had and wondered if he could make it through the wedding. By the time the minister finished the sermon, he was a new man. He didn’t want to kiss the bride, he wanted to eat the bride.

It was supposed to be the most perfect day of her life and as Kelly surveyed the sea of smiling faces before her, she knew it would be. She walked slowly down the aisle with her father, looking lovingly at her groom already standing at the alter. But Tim didn’t look as happy as she expected. Maybe her vision was compromised by her veil, but she thought he looked pale and he seemed to be sweating. As they stood before the minister and recited their vows, Tim groaned several times. Just as the minister declared them man and wife, he fell on her. Now they have a new set of vows…..till undeath do us part!